zune=cool

i love my zune. so cool. hmm i forgot what i was thinking about....oh i remember.

this really doesnt have to do with anything personal. just gotta right down some of my wonderin's.
is it really possible to be just friends, after an especially deep relationship? just the fact that youve been there, done that, its like...something would change. in a permanent way. now youve become attached in a physical and an emotional level, fusing together to become just pure attraction. once those cables are linked, now, you dont WANT them, you NEED them. suddenly, this one person has become an irrevocably huge part of your life.

and if it breaks off, then...they take a part of you with them. its never a clean break after a truly deep relationship. sure, the degree and severity of the break-up can vary, whether they had a rough ending or just fell apart or grew apart, you end up weaker than you first started with.

but, you would learn from it. everything that you guys have done together didnt go to waste, because it becomes a part of your life experience. to use an analogy, as i said before, you end up weaker than you first started. but, like broken muscle tissue, once it heals, itll become bigger and stronger. eventually, youll get over the pain, and become a better, wiser person because of it.

but youll never forget, not if it was truly something meaningful. from the very first day you noticed that certain something about that person, to the initial awkward start, to getting friendlier, to the very beginnings of emotional connections. one by one, the pieces started to click, and eventually became something to each other that no one could replace, at least at the time. at least, i would hope i would never forget.

whats the point? the message is basically...to have loved and lost is better to have not loved at all. no matter what the pain in the end, if it comes, you will never forget the feelings, the emotions, the laughter, the touch, the kiss, the first time. and all the little things and quirks in between.

cuz if you know the end is inevitable, it makes you a bit reluctant to go in. what if you dont come out the same? making reference to the beginning of this blog, what if you just cant be friends again?

well, to me at least, i think its worth it. i think its worth the closeness, the exciting journey that you can experience, the opportunity to do things youve never done before.

whatever the end, ill never forget the beginning. ill never forget what i felt, what i did. keep the prospect of permanence out of it. enjoy what you have at the moment. and if the situation is all right, and your both ready, dont drop the oppotunity, dont let it go. one day, i feel that ill regret it if i don't.

fuck the consequences of holding those hands, holding each other close. if everything that i do will make it that much more painful in the end, oh well. if its for love, its worth it.