whats the point of...trying to live your life trying to be happy, responsible, trying to be nice? to set your goals and follow them, to be respectful enough to others, to just...iono.
i keep telling myself, TELLING myself, that i dont give a fuck anymore. that i just dont give a fuck.
then why the fuck do i still do?
Monday, October 26, 2009
Wednesday, October 21, 2009
reblogged...again
HAHA my tumblr got reblogged again HAHA. yesterday my music tumblr got reblogged, now today a aim convo i had with david got reblogged. kewl.
started a youtube channel with peter. LETS SEE HOW THAT SHIT GO LOOOOOOOOOL.
thought i had play practice today, but it wasnt my act so i ended up painting two crappy ass signs for the halloween dance. my apologies, i am not a artiste.
anyway, went to tony li's house for the first time today. best pad. ever. seriously ive never seen a chiller pad. however, you wanna go there to study? nope. just aint gunna happen. great weekend chill spot tho.
on the way back, matt gave me a ride, and we raced against timos car and went through a couple near-deaths. the adrenaline was pounding.
then, we got on and off the freeway 3 times before we decided we chose the right one in the first place. took some wrongs turns to but...we EVENTUALLY got home. mhm thats what counts. i love the late nights in the car.
started a youtube channel with peter. LETS SEE HOW THAT SHIT GO LOOOOOOOOOL.
thought i had play practice today, but it wasnt my act so i ended up painting two crappy ass signs for the halloween dance. my apologies, i am not a artiste.
anyway, went to tony li's house for the first time today. best pad. ever. seriously ive never seen a chiller pad. however, you wanna go there to study? nope. just aint gunna happen. great weekend chill spot tho.
on the way back, matt gave me a ride, and we raced against timos car and went through a couple near-deaths. the adrenaline was pounding.
then, we got on and off the freeway 3 times before we decided we chose the right one in the first place. took some wrongs turns to but...we EVENTUALLY got home. mhm thats what counts. i love the late nights in the car.
Tuesday, October 20, 2009
a day
today, i played my best game of waterpolo yet. i made 6 out of 11 shots, and our JV actually won LOL. i made our first shot, and robin made the second, so for a moment it was a kim brothers moment. then i made the third and fourth shot then the shot order got hazy after that haha. not only that, i had 3 SWEET assists with really well played manuevering and passing, and not ONLY that, i got defense on lockdown. AND ON TOP OF THAT i had the best endurance i had in a game yet. NO CRAMPS. and i stayed in the whole game too, no rest. this is an accomplishment HAHA.
you know, i said to jonathan and david today as we walked to v-bal game after OUR game...
see jv gets the shit. we dont have any cheerleaders, our audience members. no one gives a fuck about us. no one to cheer us wen we make a shot, no one to share in our accomplishments.
but you know, we practice and work hard for ourselves and for the team. thats all we need right?
then after i went to timos house with james and matt, ordered some dominos, ate, and actually got some good studying done. i feel good.
oh also, today, during 5th period tseng i got called to the career center, and apparently a west point alumni (captain hickman) dropped in for a surprise visit, and i had a 40 minute one-on-one discussion about everything west point, and took all of lunch. I got a poster, cd, sticker, pamphlets, and a hand-written admission guideline.
thinking about going to west point...people wonder why i would wanna go. I know. Im gunna miss out on all the...FUN college experience. no parties, chilling, women. just work work work. I even heard from capt. hickman that...cadets barely have time for themselves. ill never just be able to roadtrip outta nowhere, or wake up at 3pm in my dorm in just my boxers sleeping upside down with a pizza slice in my hand and beer can in the other and not knowing wtf happened. ill miss out on all that.
but you know, lifes always been a challenge for me. its just time to take it to another level.
you know, i said to jonathan and david today as we walked to v-bal game after OUR game...
see jv gets the shit. we dont have any cheerleaders, our audience members. no one gives a fuck about us. no one to cheer us wen we make a shot, no one to share in our accomplishments.
but you know, we practice and work hard for ourselves and for the team. thats all we need right?
then after i went to timos house with james and matt, ordered some dominos, ate, and actually got some good studying done. i feel good.
oh also, today, during 5th period tseng i got called to the career center, and apparently a west point alumni (captain hickman) dropped in for a surprise visit, and i had a 40 minute one-on-one discussion about everything west point, and took all of lunch. I got a poster, cd, sticker, pamphlets, and a hand-written admission guideline.
thinking about going to west point...people wonder why i would wanna go. I know. Im gunna miss out on all the...FUN college experience. no parties, chilling, women. just work work work. I even heard from capt. hickman that...cadets barely have time for themselves. ill never just be able to roadtrip outta nowhere, or wake up at 3pm in my dorm in just my boxers sleeping upside down with a pizza slice in my hand and beer can in the other and not knowing wtf happened. ill miss out on all that.
but you know, lifes always been a challenge for me. its just time to take it to another level.
Saturday, October 17, 2009
release
i never talk about it to anyone cuz i cant help but get just...
but today was the first time i told someone to an extent other than my family. i didnt plan it, it just...happened. it felt good. im really glad to have my friends. im very blessed.
psat tomorrow. time to sleep
but today was the first time i told someone to an extent other than my family. i didnt plan it, it just...happened. it felt good. im really glad to have my friends. im very blessed.
psat tomorrow. time to sleep
Wednesday, October 14, 2009
2nd post here we go
ohh man what to say? jesus monday was a shit day. tuesday too. today too.
sleepy as fuck. all the time. i knock out in almost every class. unintentionally. Fuck
god this year like...i realy dont wanna drift from the friends that i have. see cuz by know, were all so close and known each other for so long.
and i think i mightve lost a best friend. it will never be the same again. whatever
girls say that im an awkward bitch in real life. i wouldnt know, i dont do it on purpose. its just, goddam. always catch me off guard. im not used to it yet, im not really the girl-talking/player type you know?
formal. formalformalformal. im gunna ask someone. thats about all i know right now. sigh.
jesus i feel bad for soyoung. i just noticed today that i only wave at her and smile. i noticed cuz she actually stopped me and told me to say "hi." ahhhhhhh i didnt do it on purpose i didnt notice i never said anything. sorry.
oh and im excited as hell for halloween and whats going down that day HAHA. and seriously when they find out, they will be SHOCKEDDD and plus i have to see how scared you really get (you know who you are)
no idea what to be for halloween. i think i have an idea but imma keep it a secret haha.
whatever. elite tomorrow, and i better sleep. another day. sigh.
sleepy as fuck. all the time. i knock out in almost every class. unintentionally. Fuck
god this year like...i realy dont wanna drift from the friends that i have. see cuz by know, were all so close and known each other for so long.
and i think i mightve lost a best friend. it will never be the same again. whatever
girls say that im an awkward bitch in real life. i wouldnt know, i dont do it on purpose. its just, goddam. always catch me off guard. im not used to it yet, im not really the girl-talking/player type you know?
formal. formalformalformal. im gunna ask someone. thats about all i know right now. sigh.
jesus i feel bad for soyoung. i just noticed today that i only wave at her and smile. i noticed cuz she actually stopped me and told me to say "hi." ahhhhhhh i didnt do it on purpose i didnt notice i never said anything. sorry.
oh and im excited as hell for halloween and whats going down that day HAHA. and seriously when they find out, they will be SHOCKEDDD and plus i have to see how scared you really get (you know who you are)
no idea what to be for halloween. i think i have an idea but imma keep it a secret haha.
whatever. elite tomorrow, and i better sleep. another day. sigh.
Friday, October 9, 2009
First post
no one. uses. tumblr. im now guna use a blogspot instead. i wont tell anyone about it, and lets see how long it takes the first person to find out.
tired as fuck. thats all i can say. waterpolo practices, tkd tournament practices, band rehearsals (and i gotta make a spinning tenor routine) inner council duties (apparently i gotta fix up the dam website ughhhhh) then i have fall play practices (yay i got a part however minor) and sat elite academy (wee....) and i gotta make some club meetings for martial arts club cuz im president (oasdijfoadfsj)
i think im gunna kill myself.
nah...but you know. id like to just say fuck it sometimes. it feels nice to say it. i never would give up, but it just feels nice to say it.
and on top of all this, i have to think about formal. yes, its early, but goddam. some people are tryna match me with someone (i wont say names here) and shes pretty cute and nice. its so blatantly obvious they want me to ask her to formal, but in the end ill make it my decision.
sighhhhhhhh goddam i just dont know who im gunna ask its killing me really goddammm it....
i know its so stupid to get worked up on this, with all the other stuff i have. but i just am.
the only things im looking forward to:
1. sleeping in (whenever that is)
2. homey nights (tomorrow hopefully)
3 oct. 31st. haha
oh andthe fall play readthrough went well. that last monologue i had to bite my tongue pretty dam hard. like really hard. w/e w/e
tired as fuck. thats all i can say. waterpolo practices, tkd tournament practices, band rehearsals (and i gotta make a spinning tenor routine) inner council duties (apparently i gotta fix up the dam website ughhhhh) then i have fall play practices (yay i got a part however minor) and sat elite academy (wee....) and i gotta make some club meetings for martial arts club cuz im president (oasdijfoadfsj)
i think im gunna kill myself.
nah...but you know. id like to just say fuck it sometimes. it feels nice to say it. i never would give up, but it just feels nice to say it.
and on top of all this, i have to think about formal. yes, its early, but goddam. some people are tryna match me with someone (i wont say names here) and shes pretty cute and nice. its so blatantly obvious they want me to ask her to formal, but in the end ill make it my decision.
sighhhhhhhh goddam i just dont know who im gunna ask its killing me really goddammm it....
i know its so stupid to get worked up on this, with all the other stuff i have. but i just am.
the only things im looking forward to:
1. sleeping in (whenever that is)
2. homey nights (tomorrow hopefully)
3 oct. 31st. haha
oh andthe fall play readthrough went well. that last monologue i had to bite my tongue pretty dam hard. like really hard. w/e w/e
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